


Little Boy Lost

by casesandcapitals



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: M/M, Mental Illness, Mental Instability, Mental Institutions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-06
Updated: 2014-03-25
Packaged: 2017-11-23 22:49:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/627369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casesandcapitals/pseuds/casesandcapitals
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two lost souls meet early one spring morning</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a long time ago before I knew how to properly write mentally ill characters, so take this work with a grain of salt please.

Gerard stumbled his way home through the dark streets. He wasn’t drunk, he hadn’t stayed at the bar long enough. Once his ex had waltzed in with his new arm candy, some thin blonde boy, Gerard had decided it was time to head out. So now he was alone and miserable, wandering the streets of New Jersey, not even sure he was headed in the right direction anymore.  
 _What’s the point?_ he thought to himself. _Why do I even try?_  
He couldn’t deny the fact that every relationship he had ever been in had failed in varying shades of pitiful. Maybe be was just destined to be a hopeless loser, sitting alone in his apartment, drinking and painting and never having any love or success.  
Gerard froze when he heard a noise. He looked around but didn’t see anyone. He did recognize the pizza place across the street though, he was almost home. He heard another noise, louder this time. Maybe he should just run for it? He could probably make it to his apartment without getting mugged….  
“No, no, no please. I tried, I promise.”  
Gerard looked around wildly.  
“H-Hello?” he called out softly.  
“No, stop. Go away, I don’t want to….”  
“Is someone there? Are you hurt?”  
Gerard stopped and listened. No one called back, but he heard a faint scraping sound coming from a parking lot one store over. He cautiously walked to the end of the building and peeked his head around to look.  
There was a boy sitting against the building, his back pressed up against the bricks and his head in his hands.  
“Are you okay?” Gerard asked.  
“Make them stop, make them stop, please.”  
“Make… make what stop? Are you hurt?”  
Gerard crept closer but stopped a few feet away from the boy. He was skinny and pale with ear length brown hair. He was wearing what looked like a hospital gown and his feet were bare and dirty.  
“What are you doing out here?” Gerard asked, moving closer.  
“Help… stop…” the boy muttered, fingers wrapped in his hair. He was rocking back and forth just a little.  
 _I should call 911_ , Gerard thought.  
“Help me, please,” the boy whispered.  
Gerard knelt beside the boy and hesitantly set a hand on his shoulder. He looked up and stared at Gerard with the biggest, liquid brown eyes Gerard had ever seen.  
“Are you hurt?” Gerard asked.  
The boy pulled his hands from his hair and spread them, palms up, for Gerard to see. They were dirty and scraped, as if he had fallen numerous times. He noticed that the boy’s knees were in the same state.  
“What are you doing out here in the middle of the night?” Gerard asked in awe, taking the boy’s cold hands into his own.  
“Got- got lost,” the boy whimpered.  
“Were you in a hospital?” The gown was dirty and ripped, now that Gerard could see it up close.  
The boy nodded, pulling his knees closer to his chest.  
“What’s your name?” Gerard asked.  
The boy shook his head frantically and pulled away from Gerard. He set his head on his bloody knees and covered his neck with this hands.  
“Okay.” Gerard glanced around, desperately looking for someone else to handle this. The lot was empty. _God, it was almost 2 am, of course no one would be around to help_. He looked back down at the small boy who was now shaking.  
“I told them to shut up, they won’t shut up!” he cried miserably into his legs.  
“Who?”  
“They told me to go and to run and I did but they keep saying _keep walking, keep walking_ , and I tried but my feet hurt and they’re mad and- and-“  
“Okay, okay. Calm down, it’s okay.” Gerard hesitated. “Can I see your feet?”  
The boy made a high pitched moan but straightened his legs so the soles of his feet were visible.  
Gerard crawled around to peer at his feet. They were even worse than his hands, bloodied and dirty.  
“Hurts. It hurts.”  
“How long have you been walking for?” Gerard asked.  
The boy pointed at the moon without picking his head up. “Three. Three times.”  
“Three- three times you’ve seen the moon?” Gerard asked incredulously, scooting back up to where the boy was sitting.  
He nodded.  
“You’ve been walking around like this for three days?”  
The boy pulled his knees back up to his chest and began to sob.  
“Okay, okay.” _Shit_. “Is there someone I can call or something? Do you know what hospital you came from?”  
He continued to sob, not acknowledging Gerard.  
“Okay, I. Can I pick you up? My apartment is really close and I can’t leave you out here.”  
The boy immediately threw his arms around Gerard’s neck, pulling himself close.  
“Wow, okay.” Gerard desperately hoped the boy was wearing boxers or something underneath the hospital gown. “Okay, here we go.”  
He slipped a hand beneath the boys bent knees and another behind his back, hefting him up and climbing to his feet. Thankfully he was wearing underwear. Gerard barely staggered when he began to walk, the boy must’ve weighed 90 pounds.  
“We’re almost there,” he told the boy in his arms. “I’m Gerard, by the way. You can call me Gee if you want.”  
“Gee,” the boy muttered into Gerard’s neck.  
“Yeah, can you tell me your name?”  
There was a long pause before the boy finally said, “Frankie.”  
“Well, it’s nice to meet you Frankie,” Gerard said.  
“It’s nice to meet you, Gee,” Frankie said back in the same tone Gerard had used.  
Gerard carried Frankie to the end of the street and around the corner. He could see his apartment now.  
“I gotta set you down for a second, okay Frankie?”  
“Okay,” the boy muttered.  
Gerard set him down carefully on the bottom step to the building. He quickly unlocked the front door and went back for Frankie. He hefted him up in his arms again and carried him into the building. The hall light was off, but Gerard knew his way mostly by feel. He felt along the wall for his apartment door and unlocked it one handed, clumsily trying to keep Frankie off the floor. They practically fell through the door.  
Gerard kicked the door shut behind him and flicked on the light.  
“Into the kitchen, Frankie. Let’s try to clean up your wounds, okay?”  
Frankie merely nodded.  
Gerard set Frankie up on his tiny kitchen table and then turned on a few more lights. He looked the boy over again in the light and grimaced.  
He was incredibly thin, as if he had been skinny to begin with and then hadn’t eaten for days, which was probably the case. His knees were bloody and dirty, same with his hands and feet. The nail on the smallest toe on his right foot had been torn off. His hair was dirty and his lips were chapped and cracked. He was closing his eyes against the bright light.  
“I’m going to get some first aid stuff and then you’ll feel good as new,” Gerard promised weakly. He rushed to his small bathroom and dug around under the sink, grabbing hold of the tiny first aid kit with relief. Gerard returned to the kitchen slowly. He peeked around the doorway and looked at Frankie, who was talking to himself again.  
“No, no,” he insisted, shaking his head. “Don’t wanna walk. Hurts. No! _You_ walk. Shut up.”  
“Frankie?” Gerard asked gently.  
Frankie looked over at him, face blank and eyes wide.  
“Who are you talking to?”  
Frankie dropped his eyes to the floor. “People…”  
Gerard walked into the room and began to lay the contents of the first aid kit out on the counter.  
“What kind of people?” Gerard pressed carefully, unscrewing the top to a bottle of disinfectant.  
“Meanies,” Frankie said.  
“They’re mean to you?” Gerard poured some of the disinfectant onto a paper towel and reached out for Frankie’s hand.  
“Not- not always,” he answered, watching curiously as Gerard began cleaning dirt and blood from his hands.  
“Sometimes they’re nice?” Gerard asked.  
“Yeah.” Gerard could almost hear the pout in his voice. “Hurts.”  
“I know it does, but this will make it feel better later, okay?”  
Frankie squirmed a little on the table, then settled. “Okay.”  
Gerard cleaned up both of the boy’s hands and then covered the worst cuts in Band-Aids. He moved on to his knees, which weren’t as bad.  
By the time Gerard was done cleaning Frankie’s knees, the boy was giggling and snatching at the thin air above him.  
“What are you doing, Frankie?” he asked, reaching for more paper towels.  
“Catchin’ butterflies,” Frankie replied happily.  
“Oh yeah? What color?”  
“All sorts.”  
“That’s nice.”  
Gerard considered Frankie’s feet. They were so cut up and packed with dirt that he didn’t know where to begin.  
“Alright, um. Stay here for a minute, okay Frankie?”  
“Right here,” Frankie agreed, staring up at the ceiling light.  
“Okay.” Gerard left the kitchen and stumbled into the living room. He started up his laptop and Googled “dirt in cuts on feet” and scrolled through the results. He sighed and returned to the kitchen.  
Frankie was exactly where he had left him, staring up at the ceiling and occasionally giggling. Gerard reached under the kitchen sink and pulled out a small plastic bucket. He started filling it with warm water and looked back at Frankie.  
“What are the butterflies doing Frankie?”  
“Flying,” the boy mumbled, waving his hands above his head slowly.  
“Are they pretty?”  
“Yeah.” Frank looked back down to Gerard after a moment. “Can’t you see ‘em?”  
“No, I guess not,” Gerard said, looking around the little kitchen.  
“They’re pretty.”  
Gerard smiled to himself and turned back to the bucket, it was about halfway full.  
“Okay Frankie, here’s what we’re gonna do,” Gerard started. He set the tub on the floor and dragged a chair over to it. “You’re gonna sit here and let your feet soak for a little while, okay?”  
“Okay, Gee,” he answered innocently.  
Gerard picked the boy up again and set him gently in the seat.  
“Alright, slowly,” he said, helping Frankie ease his feet into the water.  
“Ow, ow ow owww,” Frankie moaned.  
“It’ll feel better in a second, Frankie.”  
Gerard let Frankie cling to his arm as hard as he wanted until his feet stopped hurting. Eventually the boy relaxed into the chair and let his feet float in the warm water.  
“Are you thirsty, Frankie?”  
“Yes.”  
Gerard grabbed a plastic cup and filled it halfway with water. He hesitantly handed it to Frankie, who took it in both of his bandaged hands and brought it to his lips. Some of the water spilled over onto his chin, but otherwise he did very well and finished the glass.  
“Do you want something to eat?” Gerard asked.  
“Yes, yes, yes. Please.”  
“Okay, um….”  
Gerard started pulling cabinets open. He didn’t have a lot of food since he mostly ordered in. There wasn’t anything in the fridge that was still safe to eat. Finally he discovered a box of mac  & cheese behind a few pots and pans.  
“How does macaroni and cheese sound, Frankie?”  
“Love mac and cheese,” he answered happily. He was looking down into the bucket of water and swishing his toes around delightedly. Gerard could see some of the dirt from his feet already floating towards the bottom.  
Gerard struggled to cook the box of macaroni, finishing with slightly undercooked elbows and runny cheese. He put some in a bowl with a spoon and handed it to Frankie. Frank seemed overjoyed with the food and began shoveling it into his mouth.  
“Don’t forget to chew it, Frankie,” Gerard said uncomfortably.  
“Chew, chew, chew,” Frankie said through a mouth of pasta and cheese sauce.  
Gerard helped himself to what was left in the pan while he watched Frankie eat. He would occasionally forget about the food and randomly stare off at the wall or ceiling. Sometimes he would answer questions that Gerard didn’t ask.  
 _I wonder what’s wrong with him?_ Gerard asked himself. Obviously the boy was seeing things that weren’t there and hearing voices in his head. _Tomorrow morning, first thing, I’ll have to bring him to the nearest hospital and see if they can find where he came from_.  
When Frankie finally finished his food, Gerard checked on his feet. They looked a lot better. The blood was gone and almost all the dirt had fallen away and was now resting at the bottom of the bucket. Gerard pulled the bucket away and dried off the boy’s feet with paper towels. He put disinfectant cream all over the bottoms of each foot and then wrapped them in gauze.  
“Does that feel better, Frankie?”  
“Yeah,” he answered, smiling and nodding.  
“Are you tired?”  
“Yes, Gee.”  
“Alright, let’s get you to bed.”  
Gerard lifted Frank from the chair and carried him into his messy bedroom. He set the slim boy down on the bed and then pulled an over-large tee shirt out from his dresser.  
“Can you change out of that gown on your own, Frankie?”  
“Yes, yes,” he said, nodding again.  
“Okay, here you go. I’ll turn my back, okay?”  
Gerard stared at the wall and listened to the soft grunts and sighs of Frankie trying to get dressed.  
“Do you need help?”  
“No, I can do it,” he insisted, sounding like a child.  
“Okay.”  
It took him a few minutes but eventually he giggled and said “Done!”  
Gerard turned around and was exceedingly glad to see that he was indeed dressed, with the shirt facing the right way and falling down to his thighs.  
“Alright, let’s get you tucked in.” Gerard pulled the covers down and Frankie laid back into the pillows and allowed Gerard to tuck him in.  
“I’m going to be right out here, okay? So just call me if you need anything.”  
“Okay, Gee. Good night.”  
Gerard smiled at the skinny boy in his bed. “Good night, Frankie.”

He didn’t get much sleep that night as he laid on the couch. He stared at the ceiling and listened to Frank talk to himself for a long time. The sun was starting to rise by the time they both fell asleep.

The clock on his VCR told him it was 11:15 when he was woken up by Frankie calling for him.  
“Gee… Gee…?”  
Gerard got up and rushed into the bedroom. “What is it Frankie?”  
“Need to pee,” the boy muttered, clutching at the sheets.  
“Oh, uh. Okay.”  
Gerard helped him get to his feet gingerly then half carried, half guided him into the bathroom.  
“You can do this on your own, right?”  
“Yes,” Frankie huffed, sounding annoyed.  
“Alright then….”  
Gerard pulled his shoes on then stood outside the door and waited until he heard a flush. Frank opened the door and Gerard helped him back to the bed, checking behind him and resigning himself to cleaning the bathroom later.  
Gerard set Frankie back on the bed then dug out a pair of sweatpants. He helped Frank pull them over his bandaged feet and up to his thin waist.  
“You wanna go for a ride in the car, Frankie?” Gerard asked in an upbeat voice.  
“Yes!”  
“Okay, climb on my back and we’ll go.”  
The trip back outside was easier than the trip in the night before. Frankie clung to Gerard’s neck while he walked and talked continuously about the things around them, none of which Gerard could see.  
He set Frankie carefully in the passenger’s seat then circled around to get in his car as well.  
Gerard knew vaguely where the hospital was and once they were on their way he simply followed the blue road signs.  
The hospital was large and imposing. Gerard pulled into a parking space and sighed. What if he got in trouble for taking Frankie to his apartment instead of just immediately calling the police? Would he be charged with kidnapping? He didn’t even know if Frankie was legal but he doubted it considering his size.  
“What’s wrong, Gee?” Frankie asked innocently.  
Gerard sighed as he looked at those big brown eyes. “Nothing Frankie. Come on, let’s go.”  
“Where we going?” Frankie asked once Gerard had him up on his back again.  
“We’re going to see if anyone here knows you,” Gerard answered.  
The doors slid open as they approached and Gerard hesitated for a moment after walking into the lobby. It was already past noon, and there were a few people sitting around in chairs. They ignored Gerard and Frankie.  
Gerard marched up to the counter where a female nurse was sitting. She looked up and barely blinked at the two boy’s weird appearance.  
“Uhm,” Gerard started.  
“Is he injured?” the nurse asked.  
“Um, kind of,” Gerard answered. The nurse raised an eyebrow at him. “I found him last night and he was in a hospital gown and he can’t remember where he came from but he said-“  
“Gee, Gee! The butterflies are back!” Frankie squealed from Gerard’s back.  
“And I don’t think he’s all there,” Gerard finished.  
“Why don’t you take a seat and I’ll run a search for missing kids from mental hospitals.”  
“Thank you. He says his name is Frankie.”  
Gerard carried Frankie over to an empty row of seats and helped him sit. He tried to keep Frankie from talking too loudly because people were starting to look over at them. They sat there for almost 20 minutes until the nurse came out from behind the counter and approached them.  
“Did you find out where he’s from?” Gerard asked.  
“Yes, I think so. I called the facility and they’re sending someone over. In the meantime we’re going to take him to an examination room and check over his wounds.”  
“Can I come with him?”  
“…You’re not his family, are you?” she asked gently.  
“No,” Gerard admitted.  
“Then no, I’m sorry.”  
A man appeared then with a wheelchair and the nurse spoke to Frankie.  
“Frankie?”  
Frankie looked up with a smile.  
“Do you want a lollipop?” she asked in a cheery voice.  
“Yes, please!” Frankie almost shouted.  
“Okay, come with me and I’ll get you one.”  
The man helped Frankie into the wheelchair and then pushed him through the lobby and passed a set of doors.  
The nurse turned to Gerard before she followed after them. “They’ll probably have some questions for you when they arrive, so you should wait here.”  
“Alright.”  
It was another 45 minutes before two people in hospital attire rushed through the front doors and straight back to where Frankie had gone.  
A long time passed and Gerard had already made his way through most of the magazines near him when the female nurse returned with one of the people who had rushed in earlier.  
It was a woman with frizzy brown hair pulled up into a bun. The nurse pointed over at Gerard and the woman walked over and sat across from him.  
“You’re the one that found Frank?” she asked.  
“Yes?”  
She smiled. “Thank you so much. We’ve been going mad trying to find him these past few days. I thought something terrible had happened to him.”  
“Is he going to be alright?” Gerard asked awkwardly.  
“Oh yes, he’s fine. We were weaning him off his old medication so we could try something new and I don’t know what happened but he just disappeared.”  
“He told me that the voices told him to run away and keep running,” Gerard supplied sadly.  
“Yes well, he’s back now.” She smiled again. “Can you tell me everything that happened since you found him?”  
Gerard explained how and where he found Frankie, and then everything that had happened since, including all the things he had said. She asked a lot of specific questions that Gerard did his best to answer.  
“He’s going back to your hospital now?” Gerard finally asked.  
“Yes, his parents will be ecstatic to hear that he’s safe and sound.”  
“Would it be alright if I visited him sometime?”  
The woman gave him a wide smile. “Of course that would be fine, as long as Frank’s okay with it.”  
“Thank you.”  
The woman wrote down all the information Gerard needed to find the mental hospital and gave him their number and the times that he could visit.  
“Thank you so much,” he told her as she got up to leave.  
“Thank you, dear.”  
Gerard saw Frankie being pushed out in the wheelchair again so he rushed over to say goodbye.  
“Hey Frankie.”  
“Gee!” Frankie said groggily. His eyes were half lidded and his limbs seemed heavy. Gerard guessed that they had sedated him.  
“I’m gonna come visit you, okay Frankie?”  
“Yes, yes Gee. I like you Gee,” he giggled.  
Gerard smiled. “I like you too Frankie.”  
The woman thanked Gerard again and then they left, pushing Frankie along while Gerard stood and watched.

Seven Months Later

“Hey Frankie,” Gerard said with a smile.  
“Hey Gee,” the boy answered with an even larger grin.  
Gerard settled into the metal seat and faced Frank who sat across the table from him. They linked their hands together on the table top.  
“So how’s everything been?” Frank asked.  
“Good, Mikey came over for dinner the other night. He was impressed with my newly cleaned apartment,” Gerard chuckled.  
“I bet he was,” Frank laughed. “You can’t blame him though, can you?”  
“Come on, I’m not that messy!”  
Frank just laughed at him.  
“So how’s it been on your side?” Gerard asked, making small circles with his thumb on the back of Frank’s hand.  
“Good,” Frank said, smiling at their hands. “Doc says I’m ready to get out of here as soon as the paperwork’s done.”  
“You got all your prescriptions and appointments lined up?” Gerard asked.  
“Yep. I’m all set to go be a real person,” he laughed.  
“You excited?”  
“About getting out of the loony bin and moving in with my boyfriend?” Frank asked with a giggle. “Beyond excited.”  
Gerard lifted their linked hands to kiss Frank’s knuckles.

Frank’s move into Gerard’s apartment went smoothly and they celebrated his eighteenth birthday two months late with a small party of Gerard’s friends and family who were eager to meet Frank.  
They had good days and bad days. Days where they would fight over the dishes and days where they would cuddle in bed and read comics. There were days where Frank would still see things that weren’t there or days where he would flip out for no reason, but Gerard was always there to guide him back. And Frank would always come back down to Gerard because he was completely in love with the boy who saved him early one spring morning.

The End


	2. Four Years Later

Gerard shoved his way through the apartment door, trying not to drop any bags.  
"Hey, Frank, I'm back!" he called. "They didn't have the cereal you like but-"  
His voice cut out when he looked around the kitchen. A chair was turned over and a pot of water on the stove was boiling frantically. Gerard dropped his bags and shut the burner off.  
"Frankie?"  
The apartment was silent. Gerard crept into the living room then checked the bathroom. He stuck his head in the bedroom and sighed. Frank's feet were sticking out from under the bed.  
He knelt by the edge of the bed and looked under. Frank had his face covered with his hands. Gerard pulled out his phone and texted Mikey.  
 _It's Frank. Can you call Dr. Epstein?_  
"Frankie?" Gerard said softly. "Frankie, it me. It's Gee."  
"Gee?" Frank asked, his weak voice muffled by his hands.  
"Yeah baby. Are you okay?"  
He shook his head and Gerard could see his eyes were shut tight.  
"Can I come under there with you?"  
"...Okay. You're not- are you? You promise you're not?!"  
"I'm not," Gerard promised.  
"Okay. Okay, you can come in."  
Gerard laid on his stomach and slid under the bed. Frank peeked through his hands.  
"What's going on, Frankie?" Gerard whispered.  
"They tried to get me, Gee. Found me and tried to get me," Frank whispered back.  
"Is that why you're hiding?"  
Frank nodded, his hair covered in dust bunnies. "Can't get me in here."  
"I'll protect you." Gerard reached out and Frank took his hand, squeezing hard.  
"They came out of nothing! Just- just formed and came up and popped and they were everywhere! Flying around!"  
"It's okay, Frankie. It's okay, they can't get you here."  
"Did you shut it off?"  
"The... the stove?"  
Frank nodded.  
"Yeah, I shut it off."  
"They came out of the water," Frank whispered.  
"The things that were trying to get you?"  
He nodded again and his eyes grew wide. "From the bottom, out of nothing!"  
Gerard sighed when he realized Frank had hallucinated monsters out of boiling, bubbling water.  
"They're gone now, I got rid of them," Gerard promised.  
"You take care of me, Gee."  
"I know I do, sweetie.... Frankie, have you been taking your medicine?"  
Frank shook his head and frowned. "Makes my head fuzzy, Gee."  
"I know it does, but the medicine keeps the monsters away, remember?"  
Gerard heard the front door open and Mikey called out for him. He stuck his head out from under the bed. "In the bedroom!"  
"No, no, no, Gee!" Frank whined.  
"It's just Mikey."  
Mikey crept into the room and knelt by the edge of the bed. He looked underneath.  
"Hey Frankie," Mikey said gently. "I like your hiding place."  
"...Thanks."  
"Dr. Epstein's here. She wants to talk to you, do you think she could come in?"  
"Is she?" Frank asked frantically. "Gee?!"  
"It's okay, I'm right here. She's not one of them, Frankie."  
"They can't know about my hiding place, Mikey," Frank whispered. "They'll come and get me!"  
"Did Gerard fight them all off for you?" Mikey asked.  
Frank nodded slowly.  
"Well then you don't have to worry right? He won't let anyone get you."  
Gerard threw Mikey a grateful smile.  
"Why don't we all go out and talk to Dr. Epstein together, then no one will know about your hiding place, okay?"  
It took a few more minutes to talk Frank out from under the bed, but they eventually got him into the living room. The blonde doctor was waiting patiently on the couch.  
"Hey Frank," she smiled. "How are you doing?"  
Frank shook his head and whispered to Gerard. "They're out there!"  
"I'll go make sure they're all gone, okay Frankie?"  
Frank let go of Gerard with obvious hesitation, but sat on the couch without too much fight. Gerard went into the kitchen and poured out the pot of hot water then put the groceries away. When he got back to the living room, Mikey was tying Frank's shoes on and Dr. Epstein was putting away a syringe.  
"Just a sedative," she assured Gerard.  
Gerard and Mikey got Frank standing and walked him outside, where an ambulance was waiting. Frank was mostly passed out when they put him in the bed and strapped him down.  
"I'll go lock up your place and meet you at the hospital," Mikey said.  
"Thanks." Gerard climbed into the back of the ambulance and then the EMT shut the doors.  
"Gee? Frank slurred when they were on their way to the hospital.  
"Hey Frankie, I'm right here."  
"Feel like I'm flying."  
"You're in an ambulance, baby."  
"Everything's purple."  
Gerard sighed.

 

"You had another episode," Gerard explained two days later. "Do you remember any of it?"  
Frank took a deep breath and stared at the white ceiling. "They were like... sea monsters with claws and wings. I hid in a cave...."  
"You were under the bed," Gerard told him with a wry smile.  
"Oh. Huh."  
"Frank, you gotta stop skipping your pills."  
Frank sighed and dropped his eyes to Gerard. "I know. I know, I just- sometimes I feel better and I just think maybe I don't need them anymore-"  
"You're always gonna need them, baby. And it's not something you need to be ashamed of, okay? Mikey's gonna be on pills for his bipolar for the rest of his life and you know what happens to him when he skips his meds."  
Frank nodded, upset.  
"So he takes them everyday, so that he doesn't get sick. You need to take your pills everyday so _you_ don't get sick."  
"I know."  
"It's scary for me when you get so scared, you know? I don't like it when I can't help you."  
"I know," Frank repeated. "I'm sorry."  
"I'm not mad," Gerard said, stroking his thumb over the back of Frank's hand. "I just worry about you."  
Frank's eyes welled up so Gerard kissed him on the lips.  
"I'll try to do better, Gee."  
"Dr. Epstein made me promise that I'd watch you take your pills every day."  
Frank sighed. "God, I hate when you have to do that. It makes me feel like a child."  
"I know, but this is the second time this year that you've been in the hospital. Something's gotta give."  
"You still love me, Gerard?" Frank asked, his wide brown eyes worried.  
"Of course I still love you, Frank. I'll always love you and I'm not going anywhere."  
They sat in silence for a while, Gerard holding Frank's hand and Frank worrying the hospital sheets with his other hand.  
"Did you really crawl under the bed with me?" Frank asked, his lips lifting into a smile.  
Gerard scrunched his nose up.  
"We really need to sweep under there more often."  
Frank laughed, and Gerard joined in.


End file.
